It’s been bloody ages since last I wrote,
and what an up and down tipsy turvy couple of months it’s been. Mostly, you’ll
be pleased to know, it’s been ups, but bloody hell, haven’t there been some
downs.
On the up front, after Chemo number 3 I had
a CT scan – just to check all was fine and dandy and feeling like utter rubbish
and spending half of my time in hospital was worth it. And turns out the chemo
is doing a fine job of getting rid of those nasty little cells – the holes in
my bones caused by the cancer have started healing, and you can see evidence of
the scar tissue that’s filling them in. And in my liver the grey patches that
were evidence of tumours have, in the majority gone black. I recoiled somewhat
at the mention of black (I mean, that NEVER sounds good does it, when in
relation to bits of your body), but it turns out the black bits are a sign of
high water content, which in turn is a sign of the cancer dissolving and
dissipating and starting to be flushed out of my system. And as for the lungs –
all a bit of a grey area, as we’re not 100% sure if was even in my lung in the
first place. Although there’s still fluid around the lining, so we can’t see
terribly clearly whether it’s there or not or whether we’re coming or going.
But all in all, a bit of a result! Next stop a CT scan after chemo 6, to see
how much of the bugger has been blitzed in the final rounds.
On the flip side, the side effects have
been getting worse (I shan’t going into details – it ain’t pleasant, and poor
old Ma B is the only one who gets the privilege of having to deal with them…).
Luckily, they’re fairly self-contained and last for 3 or 4 days. They’re a vile
and unpleasant 3 or 4 days, but at least I know there’s an end point and I have
a good two weeks of starting to feel someway normal before the whole
merry-go-round starts up again.
Back on the up front, my hair seems to be
sticking around a lot longer than last time, and I still haven’t ventured into
the wig (sorry Spoblet – think I got a bit over zealous!!). It’s pretty thin
and patchy, but I’ve been managing to style it out as long as I have my
pony-tail in exactly the right position and pull some strands around this way
and that. Just praying, praying that it clings on for the next few weeks so at
least when the regrowth starts I can try and salvage the first inch or so and
I’m not growing a whole head from scratch again. Probably nothing but a pipe
dream and I’ll have to chop it all off, but we can but hope eh? I’m convinced
it’s this vegan diet that’s doing the business – never eaten so many falafels
in my life… And I even managed to sit through a roast dinner with a huge bubbly
pot of potato dauphinois bang slap in front of me on Sunday without even having
a teeny tiny bite. My vegan sausages and new potatoes were… erm… delicious. (Not
as delicious as Hiller’s homemade pots dauph and buttered carrots, obv, but
needs must…).
On the down side, one more trip to hospital
(low Calcium levels and numb legs) after Chemo 3, but on the up side, finally
made it through a whole cycle after number 4 without being re-admitted. Fingers
crossed for number 5!
And now, with number 5 done and dusted, all
I can do is wait for the horrors to kick in on Friday, and know that I’ve only
got one more cycle of the docetaxel to go before life can return to (a very
different and meat and dairy free) normality. Can’t wait to get back to bloody
work properly. And it’s not every day you hear that…
