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Wednesday 27 August 2014

Well, it's been a while...


It’s been bloody ages since last I wrote, and what an up and down tipsy turvy couple of months it’s been. Mostly, you’ll be pleased to know, it’s been ups, but bloody hell, haven’t there been some downs.

On the up front, after Chemo number 3 I had a CT scan – just to check all was fine and dandy and feeling like utter rubbish and spending half of my time in hospital was worth it. And turns out the chemo is doing a fine job of getting rid of those nasty little cells – the holes in my bones caused by the cancer have started healing, and you can see evidence of the scar tissue that’s filling them in. And in my liver the grey patches that were evidence of tumours have, in the majority gone black. I recoiled somewhat at the mention of black (I mean, that NEVER sounds good does it, when in relation to bits of your body), but it turns out the black bits are a sign of high water content, which in turn is a sign of the cancer dissolving and dissipating and starting to be flushed out of my system. And as for the lungs – all a bit of a grey area, as we’re not 100% sure if was even in my lung in the first place. Although there’s still fluid around the lining, so we can’t see terribly clearly whether it’s there or not or whether we’re coming or going. But all in all, a bit of a result! Next stop a CT scan after chemo 6, to see how much of the bugger has been blitzed in the final rounds.

On the flip side, the side effects have been getting worse (I shan’t going into details – it ain’t pleasant, and poor old Ma B is the only one who gets the privilege of having to deal with them…). Luckily, they’re fairly self-contained and last for 3 or 4 days. They’re a vile and unpleasant 3 or 4 days, but at least I know there’s an end point and I have a good two weeks of starting to feel someway normal before the whole merry-go-round starts up again.

Back on the up front, my hair seems to be sticking around a lot longer than last time, and I still haven’t ventured into the wig (sorry Spoblet – think I got a bit over zealous!!). It’s pretty thin and patchy, but I’ve been managing to style it out as long as I have my pony-tail in exactly the right position and pull some strands around this way and that. Just praying, praying that it clings on for the next few weeks so at least when the regrowth starts I can try and salvage the first inch or so and I’m not growing a whole head from scratch again. Probably nothing but a pipe dream and I’ll have to chop it all off, but we can but hope eh? I’m convinced it’s this vegan diet that’s doing the business – never eaten so many falafels in my life… And I even managed to sit through a roast dinner with a huge bubbly pot of potato dauphinois bang slap in front of me on Sunday without even having a teeny tiny bite. My vegan sausages and new potatoes were… erm… delicious. (Not as delicious as Hiller’s homemade pots dauph and buttered carrots, obv, but needs must…).

On the down side, one more trip to hospital (low Calcium levels and numb legs) after Chemo 3, but on the up side, finally made it through a whole cycle after number 4 without being re-admitted. Fingers crossed for number 5!

And now, with number 5 done and dusted, all I can do is wait for the horrors to kick in on Friday, and know that I’ve only got one more cycle of the docetaxel to go before life can return to (a very different and meat and dairy free) normality. Can’t wait to get back to bloody work properly. And it’s not every day you hear that…